Recently I had an interaction with someone who had experienced a situation that left them lacking in sleep, deeply concerned, worried and uncertain about the future. Yet their primary focus was putting on their armour and facing the day ahead. When they saw me and heard my voice, they realised that their armour had a chink in it and started to fall, revealing the vulnerability that lay beneath. They kept repeating ‘I need to get my act together,’, ‘Normally I can put on an act and get through the day when these things happen.’

Needless to say, we agreed they would send apologies and clear their calendar to give them space to rest, recharge and be reassured everything would be OK.

I walked away from this conversation wondering why, with all the hats we tend to wear – mum, dad, employee, manager, sister, brother, friend, daughter, son, husband, wife, our modus operandi is to not disappoint anyone by reneging on a commitment, put ours needs at the back of the queue and not give ourselves the opportunity process, breathe, replenish, re-strategise.

A Forbes article details some interesting research, for almost 70% of people, their manager has more impact on their mental health than their doctor or therapist.  This figure is on par with the impact their partner can have on their mental health, so the responsibility we can have is big!.  The article continues to discuss that many leaders take on extra work, and work harder to protect their teams and in fact, 42% of leaders felt the stress they felt they actually put on themselves.

So how can we protect ourselves better as leaders and minimise any impact on our team members’?

Being our best and doing our best are interdependent on our mind, body and actions.

Our awareness allows us to notice our thoughts and our self talk, judgement and what is happening in our body, e.g. if we are nervous does our body temp rise?, How does our thinking, self talk and judgements inform our actions, and finally our physiology, emotions and how we feel lead the path to our action or inaction.

The key to an Optimum You is where we are clear on our thoughts, physiology and behaviour and how these 3 interact to be and do our best for ourselves, teams, family and friends!

It is very similar to the optimum conditions for growing a plant in your garden, if we take the components of light, water and soil in growing a plant, without the right amount of light, or water or the right type of soil the plant will not grow, grow slowly or flourish.

Knowing ourselves and taking time to be curious about what is happening and what we need to flourish will benefit ourselves and those around us.

Steps to Preserving You:

1. Take 10 mins to recognise your thoughts, perhaps write them down. How would you describe your self talk? How are they playing a part in your actions. What alternative thoughts might better serve what you say and do.
2. The next time you get anxious, overwhelmed, afraid ‘Notice’ how this shows up in your body. Can you change your body to have a positive impact on your mind? Go for a walk, stand up, smile. Get curious what are these signals telling you?
3. What are your triggers, red flag emotions and what is your normal reaction. Is this working for you? Working for those around you? What decisions do you need to make or actions do you need to take to process and create space to consider a response that is better for you and those around you.